2022.01.19 02:06 throwheraway1213 P - to u pretty polish lady
I wish you would let me love you.
We are so different but the same. I can’t sleep. I’m screaming in my head, what do you need? And maybe selfishly that I want to know every inch of your brain.
Maybe you don’t need that. But I just have love for you. I wish you would let me hold all of you. Know all of you. Nothing scares me. I wish you knew that your broken is okay. I have no image of you to uphold: just this burning desire to let you know my arms are safe. To know who you are behind your mask. To know every part of you. No one is perfect but I cannot image truly hating you.
You’re such a mystery when I really think of it. Part of me thinks you want me to come at you with claws to your face? Big roar and scare the living shit out of you? Give you space and time? Or hide away forever - probably truly never gone.
I’m not scared of you just scared of what you need - it seems I’m always guessing wrong. I can’t in the fun house alone, not with your reflection everywhere. But so many mirrors. I’m wanting to bulldoze all the walls.
I cannot tell you how much I think about you. At this point there’s not a start or a beginning. God I can’t even tell myself until I’m tearing down every painting in a museum - how are you in everyone?
And if you’re not the main subject the book is dedicated to you anyways.
I am too different than what you see. I’m stronger than you think. I want to bench press you and knock down those god damn walls of yours so you’d know I’m strong enough for all you are.
Selfishly I wish you knew I was strong enough for you to really just stab me if you needed, too. Kind of thirsty for your blood.
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2022.01.19 02:06 sully23456 Recap of which team you’re going to be on
2022.01.19 02:06 youcantkillharambe Thoughts on steel reserve?
2022.01.19 02:06 Possible_Abrocoma_22 Hong Kong pro-democracy activist Leung released from prison
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2022.01.19 02:06 Paintguin I’m stuck at my rival next to the Safari Zone.
2022.01.19 02:06 Shart-Vandalay Quint Laser Power Up
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2022.01.19 02:06 kellyroald Should foreigners be allowed to live in Australia? (1985) | RetroFocus
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2022.01.19 02:06 JesusChristwillsucc Best age rating for games?
2022.01.19 02:06 westman38 Hehe nice
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2022.01.19 02:06 Possible_Abrocoma_22 Tonga says facing ‘unprecedented disaster’, UN prepares relief
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2022.01.19 02:06 exclamationmarksonly My backyard -30C. Sorry for the poor quality. Ironically had to take this through the back window as the back door was frozen and I could not open it.
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2022.01.19 02:06 JonathanJK Episode 4 of Star Trek Voyager Season 8 available for download.
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2022.01.19 02:06 ShinyMcShine123456 Why do I get so depressed from other peoples opinions being different from mine?
I’m so sick of it. I’ll be loving the absolute shit out of something. But then, I see some random monkey on the internet says that they don’t like it. After that, I can’t stop thinking about how someone hates it. I keep arguing with myself in my head like “that dude is entitled to his opinion that I happen to disagree with. Wait but what if he’s right… what if I’m completely wrong and I should stop enjoying this?” I’m so sick of it. It happens with everything. But I feel it the most with video games. I’ll be loving my PS4 having a great time playing something, but then I see some toxic fanboy say that PlayStation is dogshit and all their games suck. No matter how hard I try, I can’t get this out of my head. It becomes hard to enjoy my PlayStation for the next few days until I eventually forget about it. It’s the worst feeling. I was thinking of just deleting all social media, but it would be healthier to deal with these feelings rather than ignore them. Does anyone else get this? How do I stop it from happening and make myself realize that it’s just an opinion?
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2022.01.19 02:06 Fluxzesty Selling halos and dims for PayPal, cashapp or gc
2022.01.19 02:06 CanderousGordo82 State of the stack: heavy.
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2022.01.19 02:06 superdevin64 Britney’s IG comments are back on + deleted ‘slapping’ post is back!
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2022.01.19 02:06 evs_eden Just for future reference, safariland doesn't seem to quite have the hang of their SLS with the P10 yet. Hood gets hung up a bunch because it's too small.
2022.01.19 02:06 CherlynGroseclose Jus chillin in the sewers bro
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2022.01.19 02:06 NeutronPC Kratos sem barba feao LKKKKKKKKKKK
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2022.01.19 02:06 musicality11 Mom  is upset I [25F] don’t want to hear about her new boyfriend during divorce from my dad
Parents were married for 28 years, the last 10 of them being very rocky, before deciding to separate last year. Mom didn’t move out until last month because of this being a high COL area—she and I bought a place together in the city so I can be closer to work, with plans for her to move out in a year when dad retires and she gets a portion of the retirement fund. We’re fine as roommates and have a great relationship, and are typically able to work through issues. But she started seeing a man in July last year.
When she started seeing him she sat me down and asked if I was comfortable hearing about her dating life as friends. I told her a firm no, and she has respected that so far. But now that she’s been seeing him for 6 months, she brought up her feelings of distance from me and overall sadness that she can’t share a huge part of her life with me. She’s apparently met his daughter and thinks this could head in the direction of living together.
I’m having a hard time dealing with my grief over the divorce—not because I have a desire for them to get back together, but because they’ve been very hostile against each other and I’ve been directly stuck in the middle as the oldest daughter. Plus, I have a horrible time with change. We never even moved growing up.
So right now, I don’t want anything to do with a new family member or potential step siblings. I actively do not want to hear about or meet him. I know if they end up together long-term I will have to get over these feelings, but right now it’s too much and she doesn’t understand why I’m so strongly against this. She just keeps mentioning how nice of a man he is and that I would like him, but that doesn’t matter to me. It’s all just too fast: their divorce isn’t even legally final. I’m also uncomfortable with the fact that the new boyfriend was widowed only 3 months before meeting my mom, it adds to my discomfort about the speed/timing.
How do I even begin to navigate this? Both my feelings and how to explain it to her in a way that makes sense? I explained all of this to her and she could only say she feels judged.
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2022.01.19 02:06 plshelpmeiambroke Profile Sheet Update???
Has anyone who passed this last cycle had their profile sheet updated or gotten paid yet if they were in the top 3%? I’ve been checking for weeks now and it still says “date of advancement has not been determined”. Heard someone say that unless you’re advancing before March your profile sheet won’t update, is that true? TIA
(Specifically wondering about E5 pay grade.)
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2022.01.19 02:06 babyllama101 Audi A4 2014 E-break
So I recently moved somewhere cold. My car has been acting up lately. It has been putting itself on the e-break whenever I pull up to a stop light and it always says that my driver door is open. The remote part of the key won’t lock or unlock the driver door. My suspicion is that since it’s 20 degrees here, that the electrical part that runs these certain aspects of the car has been damaged by the cold. It was running in perfect condition before hand.
I replaced the electrical locking mechanism on the driver door side before moving.
Let me know why you guys think. Thanks!
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2022.01.19 02:06 punishmentbrigade24 Chamath Palihapitiya's Uyghur Controversy Is Latest in NBA's Awkward China Relationship
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2022.01.19 02:06 ReallyCoolPersonIg Or if the sky opened up and started pouring rain
2022.01.19 02:06 FaultyGoat [24M] As soon as I get comfortable in a relationship I immediately lose interest and start pushing them away, but as soon as we break up I become deeply lonely. Any advice on breaking this cycle?
Although the question pretty much covers all the bases, some extra context would likely help.
For the last 3 years I have been actively practicing non-monogamy (in that I have been seeing multiple people at the same time and am open with everyone about what is going on. In some periods this meant having more than one serious partner at a time, on others it meant just casually dating). Then in September of last year I entered into my first monogamous relationship. It was amazing at first - we were very comfortable with each other, spent a decent amount of time together, sex life was good, great communication and boundary setting - but as soon as we entered into about month 2 I quickly lost interest. I felt myself day by day becoming less interested and increasingly annoyed by small, pointless things: pointless in the sense that I knew my irritation was unfounded, they were not doing anything 'wrong', I was just being bitter about meaningless stuff. When that ended (after I broke up with her) during the break up we both shared that we loved each other for the first time, something we had never said before. As she left my apartment I cried harder than I had in a long time. The first person I have ever been with tells me they love me and I just broke up with them over something that was essentially non-existent (my sudden and intense lack of connection once things got comfortable).
About a month later (end of December 2021), I entered into another semi-relationship (we weren't BF/GF but said we were monogamous). Week 2 of this relationship roles around and I very quickly get that same sense of detachment. As soon as I sensed we were getting comfortable with one another, I felt the interest drain out of me. In a matter of days I felt like I was completely indifferent to whether or not we stayed together. However, after a week back home with her family led to a difficult phone call about how our relationship was going, I got the sense that we will not be together in the same way when she gets back (she arrives home on Friday). Immediately upon putting the phone down I had that same sense of dread and loneliness flood over me.
How do I end this? How do I break this cycle of becoming distant once I am comfortable?
P.s. One thing I'd like to make clear is that I get this is a me issue - this behaviour is very toxic for both myself and those I am with. However, I really don't know what to do. I suffer pretty intense anxiety and feelings of loneliness (I live alone too), and in the past experienced these coupled with severe depression as well. Although in most aspects of my life I am making great progress re: my mental health, I cannot seem to grasp how to hold on to and maintain a monogamous relationship, meanwhile still having feelings for the person I am with.
If anyone has any thoughts or has been through the same thing, I'd love to hear about it.
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